An Open Letter to Depression.

I believe that my role is to simply raise awareness. I am not simply a vegan blogger, food blogger, pcos blogger or body positivity blogger. I choose to raise awareness about EVERYTHING that I believe should be common knowledge. And a big part of that is raising awareness about mental health.

A few of you will know from my past blogs that I am pretty open about my mental health and in particular the difficulties I have had with it.

I have struggled with depression for a little over 5 years. Sometimes it is completely absent and other times it is completely debilitating.

Depression to me is feeling completely alone but being unable to be with other people.

It is feeling so hopeless that you question why you exist or how or why you should go on.

There are days where you feel so tired that you aren’t sure how you ever got through a day before this one.

It is wanting to cry but feeling completely numb.

It’s saying no to seeing friends, answering phone calls or texting back… because it’s energy you just don’t have.

It’s like being awake, but the person you normally are… isn’t home.

It is darkness that you didn’t know you were capable of.

And like a small boat in a storm, you never know when the sky’s will clear and the waters will calm again.

But when they do, there is light and happiness and there is joy again. And the storm is nothing but a distant memory.

Many things change the tides.
For me it’s time, amazing support from professional and personal relationships, exercise and healthy food.

It does always get better, despite how it feels in the moment.

For people who haven’t experienced this, or read this and think ‘boy, little too much information’ or ‘ugh, this crap’… I can say to you, that you are lucky to not feel this way. But there are many people around you who do and it is important that you are aware that the biggest smile can hide the deepest of sorrows.

So message a friend, reach out and stay aware that there is always more going on under the surface.

It’s okay to not feel okay.

Steph x

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